Let's talk about sex...or not?
Good 'intimate relations' play a small part in a good relationship but a huge part when there's problems.
Intimacy Issues & Sex Therapy
Many couples who come in for couples therapy have some concurrent issue with intimacy and need sex therapy. So many things can get in the way of good sex, it's understandable that 92% of couples experience some degree of problems with desire at some stage in their relationship!
Unfortunately, sex is one of those things that is not discussed openly and this can perpetuate the problem in the relationship, especially when couples:
Don't know how to talk about sex with each other
Try to repress or ignore their sexuality
Feel their sex life is lacking something but can't really express what it is
Ignore the important role sex can play in expressing love, having fun and feeling free
Don't really understand what they would like to get from their sexual relationship
Misuse sex as an act of power, performance or as a form currency
Here are some simple common issues that arise in couples therapy.
She doesn't want to have sex as often after baby arrives.
He seems to want it all the time.
She can't come and he feels inadequate.
He comes too soon and she feels disappointed or inadequate also.
He stops getting erections and she thinks it's because she's unattractive.
He loses his drive and she thinks he's getting it elsewhere.
He doesn't like her smell and she feels rejected.
Clarissa is familiar with a range of sexual problems in relationships with which she can help. Other difficulties may require being referred to a specialist. But know that you are not alone in your problems, and things can and do get better with time and attention.
Difficulties with desire will be experienced by the large majority of couples at some point. There are various explanations for this, but to the couple it can seem insurmountable. A further percentage of couples will experience more significant sexual issues that may or may not have been a problem prior to the relationship.
Common problems that can be discussed in couples counselling:
Low or unmatched libido
Lack of desire for each other
Feeling bored in the bedroom
Vaginimus and dyspareunia
Erectile dysfunction
Inability to orgasm
Porn addiction (sadly, as this is such an increasing problem you may need specialist in this area)
Lackluster sex
Keep in mind that people have very different ideas and expectations regarding sex, and verbalizing them can be difficult. It is not the aim of sex therapy to make you feel guilty, weird, uncomfortable or confess your wildest fantasies. Instead, sex therapy is meant to increase intimacy in a way that is meaningful to the couple according to their age, stage and values. Moreover, it is important you know that some form of sexual issue happens to nearly all couples at some point, and it is okay to discuss it if you want. While it might feel embarrassing to talk about sex, it's worse to let the problem continue to erode your relationship. Many problems are temporary and can be resolved within couples counselling.
Pact couples therapy is psychobiological so specific to sexual issues. Read more about PACT here.
Unfortunately, sex is one of those things that is not discussed openly and this can perpetuate the problem in the relationship, especially when couples:
Don't know how to talk about sex with each other
Try to repress or ignore their sexuality
Feel their sex life is lacking something but can't really express what it is
Ignore the important role sex can play in expressing love, having fun and feeling free
Don't really understand what they would like to get from their sexual relationship
Misuse sex as an act of power, performance or as a form currency
Here are some simple common issues that arise in couples therapy.
She doesn't want to have sex as often after baby arrives.
He seems to want it all the time.
She can't come and he feels inadequate.
He comes too soon and she feels disappointed or inadequate also.
He stops getting erections and she thinks it's because she's unattractive.
He loses his drive and she thinks he's getting it elsewhere.
He doesn't like her smell and she feels rejected.
Clarissa is familiar with a range of sexual problems in relationships with which she can help. Other difficulties may require being referred to a specialist. But know that you are not alone in your problems, and things can and do get better with time and attention.
Difficulties with desire will be experienced by the large majority of couples at some point. There are various explanations for this, but to the couple it can seem insurmountable. A further percentage of couples will experience more significant sexual issues that may or may not have been a problem prior to the relationship.
Common problems that can be discussed in couples counselling:
Low or unmatched libido
Lack of desire for each other
Feeling bored in the bedroom
Vaginimus and dyspareunia
Erectile dysfunction
Inability to orgasm
Porn addiction (sadly, as this is such an increasing problem you may need specialist in this area)
Lackluster sex
Keep in mind that people have very different ideas and expectations regarding sex, and verbalizing them can be difficult. It is not the aim of sex therapy to make you feel guilty, weird, uncomfortable or confess your wildest fantasies. Instead, sex therapy is meant to increase intimacy in a way that is meaningful to the couple according to their age, stage and values. Moreover, it is important you know that some form of sexual issue happens to nearly all couples at some point, and it is okay to discuss it if you want. While it might feel embarrassing to talk about sex, it's worse to let the problem continue to erode your relationship. Many problems are temporary and can be resolved within couples counselling.
Pact couples therapy is psychobiological so specific to sexual issues. Read more about PACT here.
