Relationships can improve with only one person working on it.
My partner won't come to counselling. What can I do?
What if my problem is my partner, but he/she won't come to counselling? If your romantic relationship is in trouble but your partner is not ready to attend, then you might help the situation by attending therapy alone. Having individual sessions with a relationships therapist will keep the focus on the health of your relationship and this may, in turn, help with some of the issues you are dealing with in the relationship.
If there is a chance your partner might join you in attending therapy, get them to come along with you as soon as possible (1st or 2nd session). If you have been seeing any therapist for too many sessions on your own, you may need to be referred to a new practitioner to start couples counselling afresh.
If you would like to improve your relationships with your partner, children, in-laws, friends and family, then working on yourself will help you negotiate these relationships better.
Trying to get over a past relationship?
Depression and anxiety are the most common psychological problems today. Causes are hard to pinpoint but they are often an interaction between personality, life events, biochemistry, stress, illness and/or trauma. Very often this trauma is caused by another person; therapists call this 'relational trauma'.
Relational trauma is pain caused by someone we love or who is supposed to love us. It can be as obvious as being beaten or bullied by another person or as insidious as past rejection, abandonment or current relationship hostility. Sometimes it is a complicated mix of things that happened to us in the past that are now triggered by events in the present.
Relational trauma affects us more than trauma caused by natural events because it disrupts our view of human nature, our ability to trust others and, therefore, our need for connection. Our need for others is biological, social and emotional. When this natural gravitation to others is damaged we are left adrift. Often the original trauma is forgotten or overlooked as unimportant and the person is bewildered as to the cause of their current distress. This is where psychotherapy/counselling can help.
Treatment options Counselling and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy are short-term focused psychological strategies that are eligible under the Medicare Better Access to Mental Health Care scheme to receive a medicare rebate for 6-10 sessions per year (some health funds will continue to subsidise treatment after that). Clarissa can provide short-term psychological strategy counselling, and it's open to you to proceed with longer term psychotherapy depending on your individual needs and desired outcomes. Many people have suffered with a problem for many years, and while some might feel significant relief after 6–10 sessions, others may need treatment to be continued for a little longer.